EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT: Book Release and Bear Wrestling!

September 23, 2008

in Bears,book,Events,Help! @ 9:40 pm

EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT:

“DRINKING WITH BEARS”
BOOK RELEASE — SPOKEN WORD SHOW — DRINKING OPPORTUNITY

Date:
Sunday October 19, 6-9pm

Location:
PLAN B
1305 SE 8th Ave
Portland, OR 97214
(503) 230-9020
Full bar & kitchen

Admission:
21 & OVER: FREE
UNDER 21: SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS

FOR MORE INFO, PRESS PACKET, REVIEW COPIES:
Contact Rose O’Keefe — publisher@eraserheadpress.com
Or Mykle Hansen — info@helpabeariseatingme.com

==============================

ABOUT THE EVENT:

“DRINKING WITH BEARS”
A very special Book Release Event,
for Mykle Hansen’s comic novel,

HELP!  A BEAR IS EATING ME!

Featuring:
– spoken-word performance by the author!
– a special slide presentation!
–  a live demonstration of advanced BEAR SELF-DEFENSE TECHNIQUES!
(more…)

Official Book Release! SUNDAY OCTOBER 19! OMG!

in Bears,book,Events,Help! @ 9:39 pm

Did you know: in the dark chewy center of the Internet there is a shiny golden orb that emits OMG!!!!  Pure rays of unadulterated OMG!!!! radiate from it, glistening droplets of OMG!!!! condense on its perfect surface … and all of that OMG!!! has been pooling down there for millions of years, until now, when I have finally perfected my technique for tapping this amazing OMG!!!! engine that keeps us all totally, you know, OMG!  OMG!  OMG!!!!

How do I do it?  This is how: by announcing the OFFICIAL BOOK RELEASE AND BEAR WRESTLING FESTIVAL for no other book than:

HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!

(Also known by its TXT translation: OMG! I’S D3DZ! LOL!)

Seriously, though … OMG!!!!  You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this wild event!  Scheduled to coincide with my very own 40th birthday,  this is no normal oh-honey-let’s-go-see-that-author-whatsisname-mumble-into-a-microphone-at-borders-and-then-get-a-latte book release event.  I can promise you ACTION, SUSPENSE and TOUCHING WHOLESOMENESS!  Plus liquor, bear wrestling, movies and goth-industrial dancing!

Here’s what author Mark Saltzman once called “Three-Way Fist of Author Appearance Stance!”

FIST ONE: I will introduce the book, myself, the bartender, etc, and read to you!  Just a little bit, you know.

FIST TWO: I will present you with an entertaining slide-show on the topic of bears, global warming, obesity and the future!  OMG!!!!

FIST THREE: With the cooperation of a LIVE BEAR, I will educate you in Bear-Fu, the ancient art of wilderness bear safety!  OMG!!!!

FIST FOUR: Ha!  You were not expecting fist four!  This is the fist of MOVIES!  Yes, we will watch bear-cinema together, you and I!   OMG!!!!

FIST FIVE (BONUS FIST): Goth industrial dancing all night!  W00t!

And just to give you a little bit more to go on: this event will be the official launching of the HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!  WORLD TOUR OF NORTH AMERICA’S WEST-COAST CITIES, SOME OF THEM!  Yes, this show is going on the road starting in November, so come smash a champagne bottle on my prow.

I sure hope to see you! The official release with details is my very next post!  Watch this space!

Wave of bear suicides continues!

September 13, 2008

in Bears @ 9:57 am

Suicidal bear in Galveston

A cry for help if ever I’ve seen one.  That’s three, in two days.  Hmmmm ….

Bear Suicide Watch!

September 12, 2008

in Bears @ 9:59 am

Sad, sad, sad.

This really can’t be coincidence:

Example One: In Lake Tahoe California, a burnt-out grizzly’s attempt to fling himself from Rainbow Bridge on Old Highway 40 near Donner Summit is thwarted by a combination of cold feet and meddling environmentalists.

(more…)