September 21, 2011
A nook can be so many things.
- It can be a tiny warm place in your kitchen where you drink your morning coffee and eat your morning crumpets.
- It can be a tiny warm e-book reader from Barnes & Noble …
- It can be … um … let’s see …
Okay, a nook can only be one of those two things. But now both of those things can potentially be full of bears!
What am I driving at? Why, it’s the official (cue trumpets!) release (cue dancing girls!) of HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! (cue bears!) for the Nook e-reader! (Cue Photoshop!)
See how a bear has already nibbled off the lower left-hand corner? That’s the kind of dynamic realism that e-book readers like the Nook offer in lieu of actual realness.
So if you own a Nook, and have been waiting for the day when it could display to you the rollicking bear-violence buddy novel that Fsda Fsdfa called “gay,” then wait no longer! Buy it today! Just whip it out and press whichever combination of easy-to-press virtual buttons causes that to happen. I would give you instructions, except I honestly have no idea. I just know it’s now in the Nookstore, filed under “HELP!” and “Hansen” and “Humor -> Animals.”
On the other hand, if you’ve been thinking of investing in an e-book reader, why not let this auspicious event be your excuse to spend freely? Because the B&N Nook Color lends the cover image of HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! an enticing all-over browniness that the Amazon Kindle can’t touch with a ten foot black-and-gray pole!
If, on the third hand, you’ve got an actual bear in your actual breakfast nook … well, I apologize if this is the first page that Google suggested for that. But fret not! Actual bear-defense strategies are but one click away.