September 28, 2007
Sorry! Didn’t mean to leave you hanging! The cards and letters and e-cards and i-letters and pings and pokes and beeps have been pouring in all week, cluttering up the i-phone, crashing the m-bone, clogging the f-holes … all demanding the same answer, all asking the same question: WHERE THE FUCK IS CHAPTER EIGHT?
Here the fuck is Chapter Eight.
And here, the fuck, is the website with the podcasts, and the bling, and the hookers, and the whiskey.
This chapter was perhaps the most challenging in my 8-chapter career. It includes dialogue in three voices, guttural howling, sound effects, and a grown man crying. It’s long. It’s eventful. It more than makes up for being four days late. (Really, it does!)
Why so late? Well, I was in Vancouver all weekend, partying with friends and riding my bike. That’s important!
And also I was delayed by random strangers waylaying in the street, desperate to touch me or steal a lock of my hair after the Oregonian (our daily newspaper) made me incredibly famous with this article and this video interview.
To be fair, this press has much more to say about my friends Carlton, Rose and Jeremy than about me. (Boy are *they* famous!) But it’s cool, because it’s part of our group plan to conquer the world with literature, and frankly Carlton sells a lot more books than I do. So if the jizz of his fame rubs off on the pant leg of my career, why would I complain?
Enjoy! Avoid bears!