Official Book Release! SUNDAY OCTOBER 19! OMG!

September 23, 2008

in Bears,book,Events,Help! @ 9:39 pm

Did you know: in the dark chewy center of the Internet there is a shiny golden orb that emits OMG!!!!  Pure rays of unadulterated OMG!!!! radiate from it, glistening droplets of OMG!!!! condense on its perfect surface … and all of that OMG!!! has been pooling down there for millions of years, until now, when I have finally perfected my technique for tapping this amazing OMG!!!! engine that keeps us all totally, you know, OMG!  OMG!  OMG!!!!

How do I do it?  This is how: by announcing the OFFICIAL BOOK RELEASE AND BEAR WRESTLING FESTIVAL for no other book than:


(Also known by its TXT translation: OMG! I’S D3DZ! LOL!)

Seriously, though … OMG!!!!  You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this wild event!  Scheduled to coincide with my very own 40th birthday,  this is no normal oh-honey-let’s-go-see-that-author-whatsisname-mumble-into-a-microphone-at-borders-and-then-get-a-latte book release event.  I can promise you ACTION, SUSPENSE and TOUCHING WHOLESOMENESS!  Plus liquor, bear wrestling, movies and goth-industrial dancing!

Here’s what author Mark Saltzman once called “Three-Way Fist of Author Appearance Stance!”

FIST ONE: I will introduce the book, myself, the bartender, etc, and read to you!  Just a little bit, you know.

FIST TWO: I will present you with an entertaining slide-show on the topic of bears, global warming, obesity and the future!  OMG!!!!

FIST THREE: With the cooperation of a LIVE BEAR, I will educate you in Bear-Fu, the ancient art of wilderness bear safety!  OMG!!!!

FIST FOUR: Ha!  You were not expecting fist four!  This is the fist of MOVIES!  Yes, we will watch bear-cinema together, you and I!   OMG!!!!

FIST FIVE (BONUS FIST): Goth industrial dancing all night!  W00t!

And just to give you a little bit more to go on: this event will be the official launching of the HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!  WORLD TOUR OF NORTH AMERICA’S WEST-COAST CITIES, SOME OF THEM!  Yes, this show is going on the road starting in November, so come smash a champagne bottle on my prow.

I sure hope to see you! The official release with details is my very next post!  Watch this space!

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