December 18, 2008
If you’re like me, you’re a cheap bastard, as well as an utter, dorkalicious nerd. In which case, you probably already own the newest e-book reader in town, the Amazon Kindle. You bought it not only because it’s a nifty doodad with an e-ink screen that runs linux, but also because you figured that the savings from buying books electronically would more than justify the exorbitant price of the aforementioned doodad.
Or else maybe you want to save the trees, or something. I don’t know. Have we met? How would I know what you’re like? But the point is, as an owner of the Amazon Kindle you are now a mere two or three light finger movements away from also being the owner of … the brand-new Amazon Kindle Edition of HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! Or, as we call it around the home office, The Amazon Bear Experiment.
Now YOU can save over $5, compared to the cover price of the boring old paper edition! But that’s not all! YOU will also avoid the faint musky odor of the bear-scented scratch-n-sniff ink! YOUR statistical risk of accidental papercuts will plummet to nil! (Offset only by a mild increase in electrocution hazard while reading in YOUR bathtub. We think that’s a small price to pay.)
Compared to the paper edition, the Kindle edition is over 5000% lighter, 2700% thinner and 99% as funny! Such a bargain! How do you take advantage of this amazing offer? I’m not sure. Click somewhere, maybe? I don’t own a Kindle, so I couldn’t tell you. If you do figure it out, please post instructions here!
(My own Kindle is still in the budget-justification phase, but your purchase of the Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! Kindle Edition! could change all that! In fact, I calculate that if only 1000 of you fine Internet people purchase the Kindle Edition for your Kindles, I will have earned enough income to buy a Kindle for myself. And if 6000 of you purchase it, I’ll have enough money to buy both a Kindle and some food!)