September 10, 2007
Dear Soft, Crunchy Humans,
Marv Pushkin is feeling great! How does he do it? Find out now, in CHAPTER SIX of the remarkably not-dead-yet epic podcast: HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!
Incidentally, I would like to give out the shouts to all the marvelous folks who made it to last Thursday’s reading at the Aalto Lounge! And to all the people who didn’t make it … because I totally neglected to tell you about it … I say … oops. Sorry. Next time for sure!
In other news, I’m getting interviewed tomorrow by The Oregonian, for an article about Bizarro Literature. This is both excellent news, because I adore publicity, and awful news, because I got a really weird haircut last weekend when I was drunk. So to all the people who ask me “Mykle, how can we help you to get more and better publicity?”, I respond: come over to my house and cut my hair! (You have 12 hours to respond.)
What’s Bizarro Literature, you ask? Surprise! You’re soaking in it!
Can you believe I am like a thumbnail’s thickness from having an author page on this site? So soon! Maybe even by the time you read this? Or next week for sure. As soon as I do something about my hair.
And now … QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS!
Q: Mykle, how can we help you to get more and better publicity?
A: See above! Also, since this episode concerns drugs and their salutary effects, why not recommend this podcast to your pharmacist, psychiatrist and/or drug dealer?
Q: I WENT TO HTTP://MYKLE.COM/BEAR THERE WAS A BUNCH OF FILEZ I CLICK ON ONE AND MY WINDOWS CRASHED!I LOST THREE YEARS OF WORK! WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?!?!
A: We have a new website under construction for this book! Also, we are about to populate two existing websites with information about this book. The interwebs are just about to SHUDDER with KNOWLEDGE and PRETTY PICTURES re: this book. Until then, just use the feedburner link, the one at the very top of this message.
If you must go to mykle.com/bear, try to imagine a little animated GIF of a road repair guy with a pickaxe, labeled UNDER CONSTRUCTION, standing there, blocking you from clicking on bad things. Picture him toiling, non-stop, 24/7, all for you. His name is Steve. Sweat drips down his chiseled brow as the wind whistles through his hard-hat. He hoists his manly shoulders again and again, hacking away at the earth in hopes that somehow this will cause a nifty website to be designed. Wave to him — but don’t interrupt him! Steve is very busy! (Go Steve!)
Q: Why do Alaskan forest rangers recommend that you file the sight off the end of your pistol before you trek solo
through bear country?
A: So it hurts less when the bear shoves it up your ass.