The Truth about Mykle!

September 13, 2007

in @ 5:16 pm

Mykle Hansen’s inability to have a normal reaction is key to the popularity of his surreal fiction and journalism. He is the author of the acclaimed short-story collection EYEHEART EVERYTHING, several dozen ‘zines, a religous self-help column in the Portland Mercury, and over fifty thousand lines of Perl. HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! is his first novel. RAMPAGING FUCKERS OF EVERYTHING ON THE CRAZY SHITTING PLANET OF THE VOMIT ATMOSPHERE, his newest collection, arrives at BizarroCon this November.

When not writing, Mykle plays in various Portland, Oregon bands, including THE GOLDEN GREATS and THE BAD MINTONS. He loves buildings but hates real estate.

Top Ten MYKLE MYTHS … EXPLODED!

1) MYKLE IS NOT A SHOPLIFTER! He simply re-appropriates found objects, and sometimes those objects are found in stores.

2) MYKLE DOES NOT SPEAK FRENCH! But he does speak the language of love: braille.

3) MYKLE IS NOT A RELIGION! He is the science of thicker, smoother, more natural hair.

4) MYKLE WILL NOT BITE YOU! As long as you stand at least five feet away.

5) MYKLE DOES NOT SPEAK GERMAN! But he did play an Austrian hitman in two art films.

6) MYKLE IS NOT A SEVEN HUNDRED FOOT TALL PINK IGUANA! Really, there’s nothing more to be said about this, except … these rumors really hurt!

7) MYKLE DOES NOT SUFFER FROM A.D.D.! He’s just … hey! Look at that!

8) MYKLE DOES NOT USE DRUGS! Drugs use Mykle.

9) MYKLE CANNOT HURT YOU! That’s the myth! In truth, Mykle can and will hurt you. We apologize, but it can’t be avoided. Now stick out your tongue and close your eyes.

10) MYKLE DID NOT WRITE THIS ENTIRE PAGE ABOUT HIMSELF IN A FIT OF SELF-PROMOTIONAL EGOTISM! He paid someone else to do it.

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