November 30, 2010

in General Knowledge @ 9:50 am

Famous Author Mykle Hansen says:

Some books just won’t stay dead!


EYEHEART EVERYTHING, Mykle Hansen’s first published collection of short stories, has just been re-released in a new Ten-Year-Annivarsary format.  Let us sing its praises!

  • Larger! (Slightly.)
  • Glossier!
  • Kevin Sampsell, author of A COMMON PORNOGRAPHY and editor of Future Tense Books, has graciously contributed a Foreword.
  • I WAS AN ASSHOLE, an Afterword by Mr. Hansen, reflects on his ten-year history with this improbably popular book.
  • The new, enhanced ISBN adds three new digits to the classic ten-digit ISBN of yore.
  • Many spelling corrections, a few tasteful edits.
  • Back cover enhanced with manic scribbling!
  • No longer triggers airport metal detectors.

It’s back on sale at Amazon.com and Powells Books, and available in the Ingram catalog for the first time ever.  Autographed copies available right here.

(Reposted from Famous Author Mykle Hansen.)

Escape From Thanksgiving starts early at The Authors Speak!

November 26, 2010

in General Knowledge @ 9:49 pm

Famous Author Mykle Hansen says:

We warned you … and now it’s here!  Happy Escape From Thanksgiving, everyone!  For the next 24 hours, we’ll be sashaying up and down the Internet like a tramp on meth, in a degrading but hopefully eye-catching effort to bring attention to Mr. Hansen’s new book, and the new books of his associates David Agranoff and Chris Genoa.  They are good books, we want you to buy them, we want your friends to buy them.  But more than anything, we want to keep you interested.

And we’ve just fired the first salvo from our formidable cannons of interesting!  THE AUTHORS SPEAK — Eric Mays’ online journal for avid readers, writers, and fans of the written word — has just published a seasonally-themed bidirectional interview between Misters Hansen and Agranoff — a polite but impassioned chat about ethics, zombies, cannibals, veganism, French cooking and Thanksgiving.  Check it out!

(We bet you didn’t even know they were bidirectional.)

(Reposted from Famous Author Mykle Hansen.)


November 25, 2010

sinking boat

Today is ESCAPE FROM THANKSGIVING — the day I interrupt your dinner by crowing constantly about my new book, among others. But since I’m about to get busy with a bird and a baster, I thought it might make more sense to provide you with this little excerpt.

The setting is the obscure Pacific island of Cristobol Minor, where our anti-hero André operates his unsavory but highly popular floating restaurant, “l’Arche”. In Chapter Two, he explains how he and his frightening business partner Marko landed on this particular island … (more…)

Escape From Thanksgiving!

November 24, 2010

in book,Events,Promotion @ 11:36 pm

Turkeybear!  OMG!

OMG!  It’s Thanksgiving!  Run away!

ESCAPE FROM THANKSGIVING is a special holiday-within-a-holiday in which we take time off from the gustatory family drama to storm around the Interwebs in our underpants, promoting the heck out of three brand-new Bizarro books about food — by David Agranoff, Chris Genoa and yours truly. (more…)

In Other Bear-Related News …

November 6, 2010

… check out my favorite new bear-related-news blog:
In Other Bear Related News!

 Yes ... a bear!

… I’m so glad someone’s covering for me here!
I have been asleep at the Wheel of Bears,
what with the NEW NOVEL and everything …


The Seattle Bear!

June 17, 2010

in Bears,Events,Help! @ 5:26 pm

Calling all space needlers!  This Saturday, June 19th 2010, I will present a special reprise infotainment performance of HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! to visitors of Seattle’s Crypticon!  If you’re in the area, please come join me at the merciless hour of eleven AM, when a very special guest and I will expose you to poignant and disemboweling truths about these special animals.

P.S. The Seattle Bear is an asshole!

Slashed Dreams and Bear Necessities

April 27, 2010

Bear watching TV

It was my pleasure to assist in the fact-checking on Garrett Cook’s article about the mildly bear-themed film SLASHED DREAMS.  Have you been wondering if you should rent this?  Did you fear you were missing out?  Let Garrett Cook — author of JIMMY PLUSH, BEAR DETECTIVE — put your mind at ease.

New York City … home of Death Bear!

February 23, 2010

in Bears @ 7:01 pm

Death Bear door-to-door

Death Bear is a superhero of the mourning process.  He comes silently, like cancer, to take away the stubborn little things that memories cling to.  Also, he’s a bear.  (Although, I heard a rumor that he is really Darth Vader, trying to atone for his past misdeeds, starting over in an awkward but sincere fashion.  Who can be sure?  I don’t know, but I’d love to ask him.)

Death Bear is just one of New York City’s many bears worth visiting.  I’ll be there this April 15-19, doing “promotion”, seeing friends, researching a biographical project and riding my bicycle like the bicycle-obsessed freak I am.  My plan is to remain cheerful.  We’ll see what happens.

However, Brooklynites don’t have to wait until April, because Death Bear is making house calls this weekend!  Text him at 347-742-2293 for an appointment.  Act now, before you cheer up!

How Long Could You Survive …

January 12, 2010

in Bears,General Knowledge @ 2:27 pm

Unsure?  Take this surprisingly educational quiz and find out!  I was told “one hour, twenty minutes” — but then again, I am a professional.  Can you do better?  Maybe you can even make it to a hospital!

(Courtesy of The Oatmeal.)

Color your way to freedom!

December 6, 2009

Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper's Soul

Everybody knows the holidays are the best time for arts & crafts.  Why?  Because it’s shitty outside! Here in Portland it’s fucking freezing, and I know we’re not alone.

But whether you’re snowed in in Minneapolis, rained out in Seattle or swallowed by a Burmese python in Tampa, I have a way for you to fight that shut-in feeling — and win some autographed free books in the process. (more…)

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